Glad you’re mine.

O hasn’t been well this week. I think that the unusually warm bank holiday, long walk into town, and lack of sleep caught up with him. I say I think as I’m never completely sure what is wrong. When your child has communication difficulties they can’t tell you how they feel exactly or even where it hurts. We mainly go on guess work or past experience and come up with a solution. Obviously if he has a stomach bug that’s pretty self explanatory. After 2 days of him not being right and napping during the day (completely unheard of, O is not known for his sleeping) I decided to keep him at home with me for the day.

We had the best day.

I love my boy but he is hard work. There’s a lot of attempted nudity (from him!), general destruction if left on his own for 30 seconds and the demand for snacks has to be seen to be believed. Also his ‘apparent’ lack of understanding of the word no makes things rather difficult. This can all become quite stressful/ frustrating especially when you have other things you need to be doing as well.

Yesterday however was different. For starters he obviously needed a day with just me. The fact that he got to spend a day chilling out with his mum meant the world to him and it showed. I’ve often felt that he couldn’t care less wether I was there or not. It’s sad to admit but most of the time I feel like he sees me as a food and drink source and someone who spoils his fun when he’s trying to pull the lights from the ceiling.

Yesterday he smiled all day. He didn’t try to destroy anything. He wanted to hold my hand, cuddle on the sofa, actually play with a toy with him, and the amount of hugs and kisses I had was out of this world.

I’ve been trying to think what was different. Was I in a better mood, was I more open to him. But I think he was just happy to be with me.

Days like this are a reminder that my love for him isn’t just one sided. I know that he has a huge capacity to love and I can claim some of it. Mummy is written on his heart like O is on mine. Yesterday I felt that and that makes me glad.

I tell you, what a boost! If anyone needs me I’ll be the one whose face is mainly smiles.


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